For all of it’s beauty and intention, Mother’s Day is kind of a lot. It’s a lot of expectation. It’s a lot of pressure. It’s a lot of planning (or lack of planning with a subsequent side of guilt or disappointment once the social media posts start rolling in). It’s emotional, often bringing up big, complex, feelings.
It brings to the surface all that we tend to let sink to the bottom of our daily lives, despite it’s pulsing truth in every moment of every day: that our mothers are vital and our relationship with them shapes us, for better and worse. That we, as mothers, are in the process of shaping our children; all our good, all our faults.
There is this build-up around the day, this heavy, fizzy expectation that it be perfect. But isn’t this day FOR us mothers, after all? Like we need more pressure and expectation in our lives.
So I’m here to say, enough of that. No matter the events that take place, the photos we do or don’t take, whether we wear dresses or pajamas, let’s get back to the heart of it. This is a day that calls for everyone to reflect on, appreciate, and celebrate motherhood. That includes us.
If you’re a mom, I encourage you to honor your damn self today and to take a moment to think, really think and reflect, on everything you do right as a mom.
What you see of yourself in your kids. What you see of your kids now in yourself.
Just for a moment in the chaos of the brunch, or the loading screen of your solo show binge, or in the footfalls of your hike, whatever you are doing today, reflect on how you, their mama, shape them.
The impact of your steadfast love. The influence of your tastes and interests and support. The effect of your wrap-around hugs and carefully crafted meals.
Their sense of humor.
Their sense of wonder.
Their sense of trust, and safety and joy.
The way they dance.
Their taste in music and books and sports.
Their work ethic.
The way they roll their eyes.
The way they bring you their despair because you’re the one who can hold it.
The way you can fix anything, from a toy wheel to a skinned knee to a broken heart.
The way you know all of their allergies, preferences, locations of that one stuffed animal (in the box behind the pillow in the closet).
Their empathy and compassion.
Their wild moods.
The way they hold your love for them day in and day out, no matter where you are, no matter their age.
The you that is in them. The them that is in you.
The way your own mother is in you.
Because this is what it means to be a mother. This is what this day is all about.
Mother’s Day isn’t about the brunch. It isn’t about the gifts, the cards, the photos or the day at all, really.
It’s about you, as the mom, owning and celebrating your acts of motherhood. Holding them in your heart, these beautiful truths, every day.
Letting them comfort you, nurture you, remind you that to truly honor a mother, all you need do is love yourself as fiercely as your mother loved you.