Well. It’s been awhile, huh? Fear not, I have exciting news despite my very long blogging hiatus. I’ve been unbelievably consumed with my novel and I’m so pleased, chuffed, over-the-damn-moon-thrilled to announce I’M DONE!!!!!!!! I WROTE A BOOK.
If you’ve been following my blog, my journey, you know that this has been a long road. Every novel is, and in some ways, this is really just the beginning. But, I’ve reached the top of this mountain I’ve been climbing for 18 months (and, really, six years) (okay, actually my whole life). This journey has seen real valleys, real depths of despair, real moments of uncertainty. I’ve managed, as a stay-at-home mom, and as a woman who closed the door on an entire other career in order to pursue her passion, to reach this milestone: a fully actualized, edited, complete manuscript called LIGHTS UP!
I love LIGHTS UP. I love the story, the characters, the world I built about theatre nerds and growing up. I poured everything into this book at the sacrifice of sleep, socializing, consistent income, and sometimes sanity. I’ve cried over this book more times I can count. I believe in this book so damn much.
My YA novel, THAT I WROTE, is now off on its first round of queries, and I am agog at how quickly and assuredly this phase has fallen upon me. I’ve been struggling to catch up to myself. I’ve been so focused on this finish line for so long, I feel almost lost. Six years ago, I was awash in misery, a wishful writer with no idea where to begin and terrified to assert to the world that this is what I wanted to do with my life.
Now, I’m here. I wrote a book and I’m trying to find it a home. I want to take a moment to savor this feeling; this feeling of pride at all I’ve overcome, all I’ve accomplished to get here. It took so much strength to believe in myself enough to do this. To not lose heart, to not lose sight of the goal, to not give up. It took everything I had and a lot of what I didn’t know I had, to realize that not only am I skilled, but I’m ferocious. I am dedicated. I am unstoppable. We all are when we act, work, and seek out of our soul’s purpose.
There is nothing we can’t do with the right amount of focus, belief, determination, guts, and support. The stars must align for LIGHTS UP to find wings into the world, but for now, I’ve given this process, this novel, my EVERYTHING. What happens with it is subsequent to what it means to have pursued this dream from the bottom wrung of the ladder. To have started from a deep, aching yearning, held back for years by white-hot fear, to a real thing, complete and true.
Thank you for following along. For your supportive comments, either here or on Instagram. For allowing me the space to savor this moment. For giving me your time and cheering me on. I have been so deep in the guts of LIGHTS UP, I have long-neglected this space. But now that I’m done and querying, I look forward to giving much of my creative heart to Brimming again.
Until next time, go work on your book!
P.S. I started working on LIGHTS UP for NaNoWriMo in November 2017. This is my first ever post about it. And this one has my first-ever excerpt. I’ve changed some of it, but much of this excerpt is in the final version. Amazing. Check it out if you’re interested!