Aww Brimming is two years old! I can’t believe it. If you’ve read my blog for awhile, you know that I originally launched Brimming on my birthday*, and use the day as a reflective time to examine all the wins I’ve accomplished in the past year, as well as the biggest obstacles I’m currently battling or anticipate. This has been an amazing practice because I’m able to watch the tangible changes that have taken place in my life and myself.
I’m guilty of being blinded by my own ambition sometimes. To be so focused on the next step that I forget to acknowledge and fully appreciate how far I’ve come, and pour gratitude into the journey that has gotten me to where I am. This reflection forces me to slow down and gain perspective on the track I’ve laid in the previous year. I highly recommend it!
I FINISHED MY BOOK! This time last year, I wasn’t quite done with the first draft. In the course of the year, I’ve not only finished the manuscript to pure satisfaction, but am well into the querying process. Querying is such a nebulous process. LIGHTS UP could really become something, or it could become my book in the drawer. Not knowing is always hard for me. But what I do know is that I am so damn proud of myself, of the story, of the work it took to get this book done. I learned how to be a working writer through this novel’s journey, and I will never not be grateful for that. I hope it finds its way into the world, but I also know that no matter what, I wrote the book of my heart.
I’ve deepened and enjoyed the network and community I’ve connected with on Instagram. It’s been such a joy connecting with other mothers, readers, and writers over there. In stepping up my photography game, I have so much fun with the visual creative medium as well. (I do tend to update Instagram more frequently and use it as a place to mini-blog, so please give me a follow over there!)
I’ve taken self-care to the next level. I know I haven’t updated much on my day-to-day life over the past year (I’ve been so focused on my novel), but I have really stepped up how well I take care of myself. I go to acupuncture for stress, I go to an acne specialist for my skin (which has never looked better; maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s a diligent morning and evening regimen of cleanser, toner, lactic acid serum, hydrating gel, BP cream and manuka honey moisturizer).
I’ve also gotten a night guard to address the tension headaches I get from clenching my jaw in my sleep, and I consistently exercise three times a week. These are major wins I want to note because for the longest time I felt like I had to shove all my needs to the background in order to be a good mom, or hell, even a worthy person. I’ve learned, really learned, that kind of thinking is such bullsh-t. I am allowed to take. I am allowed to be selfish. I am allowed to tend to myself in all the ways that fuel me as a mother, wife, writer, and human. (You are too, by the way).
I’ve been more engaged in my community and on issues that matter to me. I worked the polls for the midterm elections, I set up monthly donations to causes that matter to me (like Planned Parenthood and the ACLU), and I make sure I’m up to date on all relevant news by reading the Skimm every day.
I’m in love with motherhood in an ever-blossoming way. Every year it gets sweeter, deeper, richer. I sit in daily gratitude of my son, my growing family, these deepest blessings.
Doing it again. I am so thrilled and proud of myself for finishing my book. I want to write another, but I’m finding myself stuttering. I don’t know where to begin. No idea has really stuck with me. I’m worried I’ll never be able to do again what I just did. I will need to overcome my anxieties and dig deeper to find a way to and through another novel. I have faith I’ll figure it out, but the path as of now is unclear.
Finding a way to stay true to my writing and inner life while being a mother of two. I’m so utterly thrilled to meet my newest little one in October, but I would be lying if I didn’t also admit that I don’t know how I’m going to stay writing with two kids. The only way I know that I will, is because I know what happens when I don’t. In these past few years I’ve learned what I can never un-know: writing is as vital to me as oxygen. Again, I have faith I’ll figure it out, but it will take reaching new depths and creating new strategies and, likely, letting go of my expectations of how any of it should look or work.
You can see how I do on these obstacles by following along. Whether you’ve been with me and Brimming from the beginning, or you’re just discovering my slice of the internet, thank you for reading. I am so utterly grateful for this space, for you, and for words.
To the next year!
*My birthday was actually yesterday, but I had quite the weepy day and needed to take a mental health day for myself. I’m claiming today as my do-over birthday!