Well, I hope this helps explain why I’ve been off the grid recently. I’m so excited to announce I’m pregnant with baby number two, due in October!
I never thought I’d be one of those people making an announcement on the internet. I have to admit it feels strange sharing this big, personal news in such a public way because I’m a pretty private person. When I share my writing or personal stories, I’m hyperaware of what feels uncomfortable to share in a way that’s important to my growth, and what feels like crossing a line. Up to this point, I’ve really enjoyed and needed to keep this news to myself. But as we near the half-way point, I’ve gotten to the point where it feels worse NOT to write about it.
I didn’t blog at all or use social media much when I was pregnant with my son, but so much has changed for me since then. I write in the public space now. So much of what I write about is motherhood and the work of an aspiring author who is also a full-time mom. Pregnancy and having a second one is definitely going to impact my perspective, what my life looks like going forward, and how in the hell I’m going to keep writing with two kids. It has reached that tipping point where not sharing this news here was getting in the way of all the things on my mind, all of things I want to write about!
I’ve also been hesitant to share because my first pregnancy was a tumultuous one. Pregnancy is such a vulnerable and sensitive time, and protecting my mental and physical health have been of the utmost importance to me. I’ve worried about all the what if’s and carried the fear that if we have a similarly scary pregnancy, I wouldn’t know how to deal with it.
Then it occurred to me that I do know how I would deal with it; I would write about it. That’s just how I function, how I cope, how I understand both myself and the world around me. The whole reason I created this blog was so I would never have to feel the level of isolation I felt the first time around ever again. I’ve grown beyond that.
This space has helped me to connect both with myself and with others who are experiencing similar pains and joys. The more vulnerable the experience, the more important it is to write about it when you’re ready. I’ve been so grateful to each and every one of you who I’ve connected with over the highs and lows of this mama/writing life. This next phase is something I really want to SHARE with you.
None of us ever knows what the future holds, but so far in this pregnancy I’ve learned to be present, grounded, and so utterly grateful every single day. Thus far, baby and I are healthy, my son is so excited to be a big brother, and my husband and I are counting the days until October. That’s all that matters for today.